OOOF. One of the hardest, yet most amazing years of my entire life. The first thing that comes to my mind is a year of extreme polarity. One filled with so much love and gratitude I found myself in tears of happiness, followed by days of extreme sadness, anger and defeat. For the first time in my life, I stepped away from everything I had thought to be true and ventured into a space of deep uncertainty. The only thing I knew deep down was that everything happens for a reason.
2023 started out strong: new job, new city, new relationship. I left my life and friends in Dallas to follow the feeling inside that there was more to life for me to conquer. I had absolutely no idea what was in store. My first time in a committed relationship, my first time living in Austin, and my first time experiencing a life where it wasn’t just about me.
Mitch and I traveled to New York City in April, our first big trip together. The atmosphere, the people, and the energy are contagious. We both love the hustle and bustle that surrounds the city, and joke one day we would love to live there for a few months. We walked around the streets belly laughing with one another and being present in each moment. Our legs were tired but the moments we shared further showed me he was someone I wanted to keep in my life forever. After we got back from New York, things started to take a turn for the worst in terms of my career. The company I was employed with was starting to go down and go down fast. There was never direct communication that the company would potentially close its doors, but I could read between the lines and understand things were not going well. Missing paychecks, customer complaints, and revenue slowing down was a sure sign it was time for me to look elsewhere. This is where the true hardship started. Once we saw the writing on the wall, I began to apply to new jobs. I knew I didn’t want to find myself unemployed again, just 6 months after my last layoff. A sense of deep anger, sadness and confusion kept coming over me during this time. I couldn’t figure out how I had just been laid off, and now I was finding myself in a very similar situation just a few months later. Anyone who knows me knows I am extremely hard on myself, so I got to work. I started to really dive into why these events were happening, and how I could control my actions to change the narrative. I continued to work and apply for jobs when May rolls around. The company was doing layoff after layoff, and I knew things were getting worse. Mitch and I had a trip planned to go to the Kentucky Derby to see my sister, so we set off on another adventure together. To keep our minds off of what was going on and to enjoy time with my family! The day I landed in Kentucky, we got the news that the company was going to be liquidated under Chapter 7 Bankruptcy, aka the company was no longer in business. Another layoff for Erin. Some call it bad luck, some told me I was bad at choosing jobs, but without this job I would have never met Mitch. I would go through the entire bankruptcy trauma again to find him.
The main question was now what? I knew I wanted to own my own business one day or be my own boss. I had a brand name, a website, but still no clear idea/product for me to launch. I knew the time away from work would provide me the clarity I needed, or so I sure hoped. Anyone who has been laid off understands the feeling that washes over you. Shock, sadness, confusion and just overall WTF moments. I knew I needed to go inward and really figure out the “why” behind this all, and to navigate my next steps. I spent the next few months doing a lot of deep reflection; time in stillness and nature to further explore who I wanted to be. I never thought my life would turn out like this, but I knew that my first layoff led me to Mitch, and this experience would lead me to something amazing as well. My inner voice made it very loud and clear that my journey in corporate sales was over. The confusion, anger and resentment were all parts of an identity death I was experiencing. For so long I had attached a sense of my worth to my career, the money I was making and where I was headed. I was so dedicated to becoming part of the top 1%, I had found myself in a personal rat race leading me nowhere. I have always been fiercely independent which showed up in all areas of life especially in my career. I realized I never truly enjoyed sales. I hated pushing people to buy things they didn’t need, I didn’t believe in “hustle culture”, and I never had a desire to work my way up in the corporate world. Being the “boss”, never sounded like fun to me. But what I did know was that the one thing that continued to drive me in my career was freedom. Freedom of time, money, and creativity. How was I going to get there? I had no idea, but if there’s one thing the podcast taught me it’s that entrepreneurship might be my thing.
My birthday was at the end of July, so we decided to take off to San Diego. Right before the trip, my apartment AC went out. What started as just elevated temperatures turned into a full-blown debacle between my apartment complex and myself. I decided to still go to San Diego, and I would figure it out once we came back. San Diego was the place I visited a year ago, funny enough the place I was when I got laid off the first time, and where I wanted to spend my 27th birthday. I love the energy, the ocean, the creativity that flooded me, and the people I met. I had purchased a hat a year earlier at Hotel Del, in Coronado and I knew I had to go back. I wanted to recreate the same experience, with my soulmate. Mitch and I did exactly that, we spent 5 days in San Diego exploring. We went back to the same hotel in search of a similar hat the year before, and I found just the hat. At first glance, I didn’t know if I loved the hat, but Mitch was certain it was mine. I put it on, and I immediately felt joy flooding through me. The ENRGI transfer from the hat to me was exactly what I needed after the last few months. I looked at Mitch and said, “should I put my brand name on a hat and see where it goes?”, he said absolutely. That was where ENRGI was born. A year after my first layoff, and in the same place I found the initial hat I fell in love with.
Once we got back from San Diego, the apartment debacle escalated and the lawyer I had hired to help iron out the situation advised me to move out of the apartment immediately. I was in shock. I just moved into this space 6 months ago, I had no job so I couldn’t go get another apartment, my only option was moving home or moving in with Mitch. I did the latter, even after I said I would never do that. What was the lesson in that situation? Let go and let life flow. I needed to save money and I needed to get out of the apartment, that is exactly what happened. In a span of 6 months I moved to Austin, fell in love, was laid off, moved out of Austin and moved in with my boyfriend. All good things, but all intense emotions to process.
I left the apartment drama behind me and spent the next few months ironing out exactly how ENRGI was going to work. I never imagined myself owning a clothing brand, but it was the only idea I had in terms of my career. I could not find a job and I knew my sales career was over. As I preach to you all, action is the catalyst for your desires to come true. I did exactly what I knew how to do, I started to ask friends around me if they knew a manufacturer who could help me. I filtered through a few people and eventually found who I am working with now. Since I am without employment, I was limited on capital until I could find a stream of income outside of unemployment. I knew I wanted to create something bigger than myself. ENRGI, was not only my name rearranged, but it was the one thing I knew impacted more than just me. Everything is ENRGI, and when I took the time to do the inner work, develop deep self-awareness, and dream about what my life would look like, my life changed. I changed. The relationships around me changed, my environment changed, and my inner world evolved. I do not believe in settling in any area of my life, and I knew if I wanted to meet someone like Mitch, build generational wealth and help millions of people I had to be the catalyst. I had to reframe certain mindsets, let go of old ways of being and step into who I wanted to be. I couldn’t listen to outside voices or follow what everyone else was doing because I didn’t want to be like everyone else. That is what ENRGI is all about. Giving each of you reading this the opportunity to do the same thing as me. Shift your internal ENRGI field so your entire life shifts. You might find yourself unemployed, leaving friendships, or moving cities but it is all part of higher alignment. I want this to be a community that supports people along their journey no matter where you are.
Here we are Christmas Day 2023, and I can honestly say I am filled with joy, love, happiness and still a bit of uncertainty. I am not 100% sure where ENRGI is going, or what it will eventually become. I do know that I will continue to create, write, and serve each of you. Every blog post, newsletter and product is designed to inspire you to create something bigger than yourself.
On January 1st, 2023, I set love as my intention for the year. Although this year brought me many hurdles, challenged my ability to surrender and made me question the path I was on, it brought me the most amount of love I have ever experienced. I learned to let go of what others think you should be and follow your heart. Meeting Mitch showed me the power of vulnerability, the balance between independence and partnership, and the importance of true love. There is true power in intention and I hope my story is just another example of that.